I Always Seem To Let Myself Down

I seem to be very good at letting myself down. Not only that, but I also seem to be good at letting other people down, too. I hate that. If there was one thing about me that I hated the most it would be the letting myself down part. I'm okay with letting other people down. I don't really care about them. Certain people, though. I'd hate to let down my parents or my best friend (or a girlfriend, if God forbid I should ever have one of those). But more to the point, I hate letting myself down.

I like to think I do it a lot because I set unrealistic goals for myself that are nearly impossible to reach. That could be part of it, but I know deep down there's more to it than that.

I guess it's one of those things I just have to go on a nifty soul searching quest to find for myself. I'm good with that. Australia? Ireland? How about Europe in general? I don't know. I'll figure something out. I think the first step towards anything else in life is getting a job. I owe too many people money. I actually only owe two people money, but two is two too many.

Blogging is fun when you're in the mood for it.

It's somewhere around 3:45 in the morning here in Simi Valley. What is a boy to do? Not a girl, apparently.

I shall occupy myself with something awesome. Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, here I come!

Today, today.

Plans for today? I hope so.

So far, just the Burn Notice marathon. Have to recap before the new season which is Thursday.

Then I think I'm picking up Ora around 3. Back here for food and good times. Then who knows that!

Okay. 11:49.42 a.m. and time for Burn Notice.

Oh boy.

I'm trying to keep up with MySpace, Facebook, LiveJournal, DeviantArt, and this blog thing. It's hard staying connected when you're a writer who spends most of his time locked away in a secluded, undisclosed location for fear of interruption and retribution! But I do what I can.

Fuck life.

I am trying not to waste anymore time posting in this useless blog. Nobody is going to read this. So why bother? I suppose it's healthy for me to write about this shitty life of mine. So here it is, in its entirety

I've been missing a lot of class lately. I haven't been motivated to get up and drag my lazy ass all the way to Moorpark. It seems like a short drive, but it isn't. Not for me. But that isn't the reason I'm not going. I just don't feel like schooling is for me. I'm not interested in doing all of this work for deadlines and classes I don't care about. I'm ready to move on and find what I'm meant to do with my life.

I've been lonely lately. I haven't had anyone to cuddle with. I haven't had anyone to hug or kiss. Not that that is all I want, but it's part of it. I want someone. And everyone I want doesn't want me. Great! Fantastic! Fuck you.

I need a vacation. I need to get away from here. I want to go back to Australia. I want to find a place to call my home. I feel like a stranger here, for obvious reasons. But I just want to have friends who make me feel welcome and I want a girl who makes me feel warm and happy and satisfied with my life.

There's plenty of other shit to write about, but the key strokes on this shitty Mac are very loud, and I feel like I'm disturbing the rest of the class trying to watch this shitty video.

Paradise Lost.

My sources tell me that Hollywood is now working towards a film adaptation of Milton's crazy but classic Paradise Lost.

My reaction, you ask? Astonishment. Excitement.

Then the curiosity: who will play who?

Adam.
Eve.
Michael.
Lucifer.
God.

Who do you think will play whom?

Proper Introduction.

I created this blog and totally forgot to include a proper introduction!

How do you do? I'm Chris. You can call me Scott. Why you ask? Why ask why? Who do you think you are? Socrates? I don't think so.

I look forward to entertaining you soon.

Death and The Gallant

Visit the link below to check out my published collection of short stories. If you're a close friend I might even sign your copy if you buy one!

http://www.lulu.com/content/1887302